There are things about our parents we assume we will always have time to ask.
What they were like as children. What their parents were like. Who their first love was. What frightened them when they were younger. Which moments changed their life. What they remember about the day we were born.
And then, sometimes, we realize how many stories we never thought to ask about.
Asking your parents about their lives doesn't have to be a serious interview. It can happen over dinner, during a long car journey, while looking through old photographs or simply over a cup of coffee.
The important thing is to ask.
Here are 50 questions that can help you discover the stories, memories and little pieces of a person that might otherwise never be told.
Questions About Their Childhood
Our parents had entire lives before we knew them. They were children once too — with favourite places, embarrassing moments, friendships, fears and dreams of their own.
1. What is one of your earliest memories?
2. What were you like as a child?
3. What did you love doing after school?
4. What did your childhood home feel like?
5. Who were you closest to growing up?
6. What is something you used to do with your parents that you still remember?
7. What did you want to be when you grew up?
8. What were you afraid of as a child?
9. Which family tradition did you love the most?
10. Is there something about your childhood you wish you could experience one more time?
Questions About Their Parents and Family
Family stories have a way of disappearing between generations. Asking about the people who came before us can preserve pieces of a family history we may never have known ourselves.
11. What were your parents really like?
12. What is your favourite memory of your mother?
13. What is your favourite memory of your father?
14. What did your parents teach you without ever saying it directly?
15. What did your grandparents mean to you?
16. Are there any family stories you never want us to forget?
17. Who in our family do you think I am most like?
18. What traditions from your family would you like us to continue?
Questions About Love and Relationships
Before they were our parents, they were people falling in love, having their hearts broken and figuring out relationships for themselves.
19. Who was your first love?
20. Do you remember your first heartbreak?
21. How did you know when you were truly in love?
22. What has love taught you over the years?
23. What do you think makes a relationship last?
24. What advice about love would you give your younger self?
Questions About Becoming a Parent
We remember our childhood from one side. Our parents remember it from another.
Sometimes the stories behind the moments we grew up with are completely different from what we imagined.
25. How did you feel when you found out you were going to become a parent?
26. What do you remember about the day I was born?
27. What was I like as a baby?
28. What is one memory of me as a child that still makes you smile?
29. What was the hardest part of raising me?
30. Was there anything about becoming a parent that surprised you?
31. Is there something you wish you had done differently as a parent?
32. What are you most proud of when you look at your children today?
Questions About the Moments That Shaped Them
A life is rarely shaped by one enormous event. More often, it is a collection of decisions, people, mistakes and moments that quietly changed everything.
33. Which moment changed your life the most?
34. What is the hardest thing you have ever been through?
35. Was there ever a decision that completely changed the direction of your life?
36. What is something you once worried about that no longer feels important?
37. Who had the biggest influence on the person you became?
38. What is one risk you are glad you took?
39. What mistake taught you the most?
40. Is there a period of your life you would love to return to for just one day?
Questions About Life and What Matters Most
Some answers only come with time.
These are the questions that allow us to understand not only what our parents experienced, but what those experiences taught them.
41. What do you think matters most in life?
42. What has become less important to you as you have grown older?
43. What has become more important?
44. When have you felt happiest in your life?
45. What are you most grateful for?
46. What do you think people spend too much time worrying about?
47. What do you hope your children learn from you?
48. What is something about you that you hope we never forget?
49. What story from your life do you think should always be told?
50. If you could leave your family with one piece of advice, what would it be?
You Don't Have to Ask All 50
You don't need to sit down with a list and work through every question.
Choose one.
Ask it at dinner. Ask it on a Sunday afternoon. Ask it when an old photograph appears and suddenly there is a story behind it.
And when they answer, don't rush to the next question.
Listen.
Because one question often leads somewhere you never expected.
A name you have never heard before. A memory they haven't thought about in thirty years. A story about your grandparents. Something they once dreamed of doing. Something they want you to know.
The most meaningful conversations rarely begin with the perfect words.
Sometimes, they simply begin because someone thought to ask.
A Question Worth Asking Today
If you don't know where to begin, start here:
“What is a story from your life you never want our family to forget?”
Then let the conversation go wherever it wants to go.
Some stories are worth holding onto.
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